How do you provide value in your relationship?
Have you ever sat down to ask yourself, what qualities do I possess that make me an invaluable partner? The famous question: “What do you bring to the table?”
Yes, it is true that everyone is deserving of love just for being human but in truth, the level & quality of love you get is often determined by what qualities you possess that adds value to the relationship & makes you indispensable to your partner
Let’s liken this to the corporate sector. In an organization, for you to be indispensable, you cannot just be like every other person. Every other person is probably just there to get paid to sort their bills. but there are some individuals who distinguish themselves, who do not coast, who strive to grow, to provide value. They are adaptable, innovative and build lasting relationships with potential “plugs”
Now, these set of individuals are often the ones who get up the rung, the ones who never have to worry about job security because they know the worth they provide.
Now apply this logic to your relationship, are you this sort of individual? Or are you just a ground floor member? Only there to occupy space until the day they get dispensed? If so, how then can you be a man or woman of value? –this doesn’t have to only apply in your romantic relationships, value must be created in every sphere of life
“All space must be attached to a value, to a public dimension. There is no private space. The only private space that you can imagine is the human mind.”
- Build Yourself: Push yourself, keep advancing as an individual, never stop learning. Be a problem solver, know something about everything. By doing this, you become an asset to your partner and your opinions are held in high esteem. In same vein, people are more likely to gravitate towards individuals who are innovative and can make life easier for them by providing solutions. For single individuals, this opens you up to meeting potential partners who are also of esteemable standards.
- Support: Every relationship requires support from both ends to build a healthy environment – every human actually needs supports– As a man, support your woman, as a woman, support your man. Relationship isn’t a battle field with both of you at opposing ends –I think this something that needs to be understood– the essence of relationship is to have someone who always has your back. It isn’t to manipulate or to control but to support in every way; emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, et al. Be financially adept, do not be a liability or parasitic.
Yes, your partner may love you but if they always have to keep fending for you, you lose your respect, and your value in their eyes diminishes.
- Sacrifices: Part of falling in love with people, means that sometimes, you have to give some things up. The main idea of love is sacrificing selflessly for someone else. Being in love changes characters from being independently selfish to wanting to give the ones they love the world.
Take a moment and think about your significant other and what level of sacrifices you are willing to make on their behalf; whatever reasoning comes out from that, tell you the level to which you love them. The vitality of love is in sacrifice. God made this evident when he gave us his only son to die for us, if that isn’t the ultimate show of Love, then I don’t know what is.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.– John 3:16 King James Version
The truth is for you to be indispensable; you have to be deliberate; you have to be an intentional woman or an intentional man. Some believe that offering just money or their bodies is valuable enough. Everyone with a sexual organ can offer sex and a good number of them are very good at it. But beyond sex, what else can you provide? What makes you different and uncommon? What makes you an asset to your partner?
As a woman, I need you to ask yourself these questions; Can I give my Man Business advice when he needs them? Can I randomly support him financially or buy him a gift (a nice thing he needs)? Can I plan a trip for us with my own money? Can I pray fervently for him when he is storming through harsh weather?
As a man, I need you to ask yourself these questions; Can I provide support to my woman –in her career, business, or whatever endeavor– when she needs it? Can I be a companion who listens when she needs my undivided attention? Can I summon emotions and be kind? Can I go out of my way to do some random things that other men do not deem fit to do? Can I cook, clean the dishes, do the laundry, without thinking it is a woman’s duty?
Your answers to these questions tell you all you need to know. Remember, for you to be valued, you must indeed provide value.
“Not adding value is the same as taking it away.”