The role of money in relationships

The role of money in relationships?

Does money really make or mar a relationship?

Should relationships be built on the foundation of monetary values?

Why is money important?

I am going to work my way from one question to the other, starting at the bottom.

Why is money important?

Now there are two conflicting ways humans view money; one, that it is everything in the world and the most important thing, thereby placing utmost value in it and envying those who have it in abundance. Two, that it is evil, corrupt, dirty and value shouldn’t be placed on it but rather on frugality and simplicity.

These are big misconceptions – to say money is not important or that it is sole purpose of being alive. It may not be the most important but it is very important. There is no denying the fact that it is needed to stay alive. Almost everything we do is a bid to make money and to live the kind of lives we have envisioned for ourselves. It is a symbol of value acquired, a value that is realized when the tender is exchanged for a want or need.

Money gives a sense of power because it takes you where you want to go by opening doors in your path. Although it may not be able to buy happiness or other abstracts like air but It can temporarily accord some modicum of purchasing power for said abstracts to the holder. Even a thing you get for “free” is directly or indirectly being paid for by someone. That is why it is important.

Should relationships be built on the foundation of monetary values?

A relationship built on money is more likely to crash faster than one built on true feelings. Because the moment the money ceases, the relationship is headed for doom. I wouldn’t say it is right or wrong to get into a relationship for the monetary advantage but it should be plainly stated from the onset, so both parties know what they are going into and they agree on the kind of union it would be.

Yes, money is very important, and building a relationship based on love may sound corny to most, but the truth is; it is the realest and purest thing ever when it is also supported with trust, sacrifice, commitment, and share values/goals.

Men, do not entice a woman you genuinely like into a relationship with money or things of monetary values, except you are ready for a transactional relationship with little or no emotions (there is no guarantee they will come to love you) and your value in that relationship will be solely based on what you can give. If unluckily she finds someone with more money, she is likely to drop you over for him. There are instances where relationships like this work -few and far between- but there will always be an imbalance.

Women, do not select based on money or what a man can give you. In such a relationship, you are more likely to be undervalued and seen as just an object. You might be fine with being undervalued, but remember; “he who pays the piper, dictates the tune”


“A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart. –Jonathan Swift–Jonathan%20Swift

Does money really make or mar a relationship?

Love, trust, sacrifices, shared values etc. may be the bedrock of relationships/marriages but we mustn’t also forget the place of money. A couple can love each other very much but their relationship can be ruined over money disagreements.

We live in material world and for you to stay alive, you require some essentials like food, education, clothes etc. all these require a legal tender to acquire. So, its importance in relationships cannot be ruled out.

If you study most relationships and marriages, often times, their arguments are about money. When you can barely afford your daily bread, love and every other thing takes a back seat. It becomes tougher to live in harmony and peace.

Your partner starts to irritate you and you begin to lash out at them, either for not providing or as a man; for not being able to provide for the family. The tiniest issues will become full blown arguments and at some point, one or both partners will choose to walk away. Only in rare cases do we see partners stick it out and this takes lots of commitment and dedication from both ends to hold down the forte. So yes, it can indeed make or mar a relationship.

What is the role of money in relationships?

The same way money plays a crucial role in our individual lives, is the same it does to a couples’.

In some way, we all have relationships with money -what factors is if it is a healthy of unhealthy one- just the same way we have with our partners. There are several roles it therefore plays i.e.

  1. Sustaining livelihood; Relationships/Marriage involves paying a lot of bills; living expenses, health insurances, raising kids (if any), investments, and handling random financial emergencies. All these require money.
  2. It makes dating more luxurious and comfortable; When there is money in your relationship, it is easier to buy them the luxuries of life to show how much they mean to you. It’s easier to arrange surprises for their birthdays, order/ cook their favorite meals or fly extra miles to surprise them when they are out of town and so many other romantic gestures. They may seem frivolous, but sometimes, there is happiness in frivolities.
  3. Arguments would revolve less around money; Financial arguments are one of the biggest issues why relationships and marriages break up. “A hungry human is an angry human”, when there is little or no funds, partners are more likely to get easily triggered and fight over little things because of the underlying money factor.
  4. Independence; There is a confidence, freedom and peace that having money and being able to afford what a person needs without checking your pockets several times while doing permutations. It also makes it easier to leave a bad relationship. If you are financially dependent on your partner, without having your own source of income, it becomes extremely difficult to leave a bad relationship.
  5. It is easier to build your relationship based on other tenets; Your focus is more centered on other aspects of your lives and setting future goals become easier. Having money helps the atmosphere of love, by reducing pressure from both parties and increasing the quality of live

The role money plays in relationships therefore, cannot be over-emphasized. A lack or short supply of it can jeopardize relationships.

Before you get into any relationship, always make sure you are financially compatible with your partner. Consider their spending and saving habits. A compatible partner would multiply your success, the opposite would diminish it.

That been said, Financial security is of utmost importance in a relationship. And it should be a joint effort from both parties. Don’t watch him/her try to make it alone. Make money together!!!

Leave a Reply