“Life is not a competition between women and men. It is a collaboration of Women and Men against gender-based oppression”
Feminism, hmm, i never really sat to consider what it entailed until a fateful day, i was out eating with friends, and the topic came up, suddenly, the lady by my side started lambasting men and i could see the veins on her face stand out and throbing like they would bust with the vehemence in which she shouted “I am a feminist! Feminism is whatever I say it is” All the while her face screaming hatred for men and how they “treated” women.
As i sat and listened, i realized she wasn’t trying to defend Feminism or what the movement stood for but rather to attack the masculine gender. And i thought to myself, “this isn’t what Feminism should be about”.
There are so many misconceptions about this movement. A lot of people do not really understand the concept of Feminism. Most views on this subject are rooted deeply in personal and direct experiences with the opposite gender, rather than on any data, research or science surrounding the issues associated with inequality/injustice against women. (That is to say, if we’ve personally faced discrimination, we know beyond doubt that it exists. But if we haven’t faced it ourselves, we might doubt that it really happens.)
WHAT IT ISN’T
• Feminism isn’t hatred towards men. (Misandry).
• Feminism isn’t wanting superiority over the male gender.
• Another predominant misconception is that a feminist can neither be a home maker nor does she believe in marriage.
• Feminism isn’t lesbianism (some guys think that’s what you mean when you say you are a feminist. Lol).
• Here is another: that men cannot be feminists (support the cause) i.e it’s for women only, (because feminine =feminism) i think this is the funniest one.
Now, there are so much more ways feminism has been misconstrued over the years by pseudo-feminists that most people have really forgotten the purpose and what the movement strives to achieve.
Pseudo Feminists say they want to eradicate Patriarchy and gender-based inequality, but somehow, they also want to retain the privilege that it brings (you wanna have your cake and still eat it). You want a man to only exhibit Patriarchal traits when it suits your whim but not ready to be held accountable or take responsibility for your actions. You want to be respected but you are not willing to reciprocate same. Forgetting that the fundamental essence of the Cause is equality of both genders.
For example, I see comments like ‘All men are dogs is just a joke. But never call a woman, a bitch!” or when a man breaks up with a woman “Men are evil and scum” but if a woman does “she had her reasons, she was probably not being treated right in the relationship”. Lol
These pseudo feminists look for defects in everything men do, searching for ways to make men look bad for no cause, and depicting them as suspects. Worse yet, if nothing works for them or according to how they want it, they play the victim card.
There have been several cases of men committing suicide after being falsely accused of rape by women who claim to be feminists, assassinating men’s character in a bid to propagate their said cause.
A case study is that of a young man, Izu Madubueze who was falsely accused of sexual harassment and despite his stand and provision of proof that he was innocent, he wasn’t given a fair chance to explain and tell his side of the story until he ended up committing suicide due to the allegations levelled against him by women who masqueraded themselves as “feminists”.
So, when we speak about rising violence and injustice against women, we shouldn’t ignore the fact that men are still subject to the same brutalities.
Not every man out there is a rapist, killer or stalking and planning to attack a woman out there.”
SO, WHAT IS FEMINISM?
A FEMINIST is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of men and women” – GLORIA STEINEM
My definition of feminism is that it is a thought process, a mindset that creates opportunities in an environment that does not see any gender as an issue or as being superior or lesser, in every aspect of society. There isn’t any superiority, and there shouldn’t be. True Feminists do not have to wear a badge or attach it to their bios. It is evident in your actions and the way you express your thoughts and feelings.
Here are some facts and definitions of feminism:
• The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality between both sexes. -Oxford Dictionary.
• A movement advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men -Dictionary.com
• A range of social movements, political movements, and ideologies that aim to define, establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes.
• All in all, it is equal opportunity for women to be intellectual equals to men.
• Feminism is for everyone not just women. Men can be feminists too.
Feminism is all about fighting for equality for women, in the office, in society, in politics and the likes. The society needs to understand women also have intellectual capabilities equal to men and should be given opportunities to explore that. Women shouldn’t be repressed because they of their gender.
Being a Feminist entails championing for the rights of women and trying to make the world a better place for women not trying to be superior to a man or hating a man.
Have you ever stopped to actually think that perhaps, hating men and trying to suppress them so you can be the superior sex isn’t going to help improve or propagate the cause? Worse it makes men believe that the cause is a joke and as usual tantrums thrown by women to seek attention. Spreading hatred and discord meaninglessly in the name of Feminism would only destroy all the good that was done before in the name of that idea.
Countless men and women in the public eye are proud feminists. Actors, actresses, musicians, writers, political leaders are very involved with this movement. Just as should be.
Feminism is for men and women. Pseudo feminists like my co-diner have made this Cause into what it isn’t by thinking “staying woke” means being a feminist. Feminism is a chance for women to make choices by and for themselves. Since that incident, i realized being complacent and letting “supposed feminists” like her champion the cause and what it stands for doesn’t help in anyway.
Today we fight not against men not against women but against inequality, against segregation, against mutilation of the girl-child, against oppression and injustice, against racism, classism, ablism, ageism, patriarchy and everyone can support feminism, regardless of race, gender, class, religion or ability.
And whether you choose to join in or not, Feminism is changing the world.
“A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves. And this is how to start: We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists